Liking, Attraction, & Relationships
3 factors that affect
interpersonal attraction
1. Familiarity
2. Similarity
3. Physical attractiveness
I FAMILIARITY: Literally,
how often we see someone
e.g., college dorms
WHY?
A. more interaction
B. mere exposure
e.g., Studies w/ mirror
images of the self
QUESTION?
Do birds of a feather flock together
Or
Do opposites attract
II SIMILARITY
---SIMILARITY IN
ATTRACTIVENESS
e.g., the matching phenomenon
Bill Clinton Jennifer
Brad Pitt Hillary or Monica
---SIMILARITY IN VALUES
ethnic background
social class
interests (hobbies)
attitudes
politics
religion
AS A GENERAL RULE…
In the short term---opposites
may attract
In the long run-----people
who are similar stay together
III PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS
e.g., Walster’s dance study
WHY?
1. Sex….more attractive
people are more sexually arousing
2. Aesthetic appeal….We like
to look good and get “props” from others for being with attractive people
3. The physical attractiveness stereotype….”What is beautiful is
also good”
Is the stereotype true? NO!
Then where does it come from?
1. Taught by culture
2. Wouldn’t it make life easier?
How pervasive is the
stereotype?
CHILDREN: more popular and judged by teachers as more
intelligent
ADULTS: viewed as more poised, interesting,
sociable, independent (in Western cultures) exciting, and sexually warm
IN COURT: better looking
defendants get lighter sentences
BABIES & MOTHERS: Most distressing of all!! Babies spend more time looking at attractive
people, even more than their own mothers.
THE ROLE OF CULTURE IN
PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS
1950’s:
Marilyn Monroe hour glass shape
1960/70’s: Very thin runway
model look
1980’s:
More fit, athletic look
1990’s:
Athletic still seems popular but with body piercings, tattoos, &
fake breasts
Kendrick’s “Charlies’ Angels
Effect”
This has 2 destructive
consequences…
1. Leads to a general dissatisfaction with one’s own appearance
2. Eating disorders (anorexia
& bulimia) due to overemphasis on thinness
THE ROLE OF THE SITUATION IN
PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS
e.g., beer goggles effect
ROMANTIC LOVE AND
RELATIONSHIPS
What makes people stay
together?
DUAL MOTIVE THEORY
Problem #1--- the Coolidge
effect
The stifling of growth and
stimulation
When touring a farm the president’s
wife was impressed by the untiring sexual activity of one rooster in the hen
house. “You might point that out to
Mr. Coolidge” she told the farmer. Upon
hearing the remark, President Coolidge asked the farmer whether a different hen
was involved each time. When informed
that was true, he replied, “you might point that out to Mrs. Coolidge.”
-Excitation transfer
-Find & sustain mutual
interests
-Two people need to grow as individuals
so they remain exciting to one another
Problem #2: Life throws curve
balls
-realistic expectations
-communicate about problems
-authenticity